The Power to Unfriend

It used to be a time when you could just phase people out. You would go to school with them or work with them and once you left your job or school you could just keep in contact with the people you really wanted to.

Then along came Facebook and EVERYONE that you have ever come into contact with wanted to be your friend.( I am surprised my mailman hasn't requested me, I have said hello to him more than once)It is almost improper not to accept someones friend request that you only spoke to at the copier when you happen to be there at the same time.

It's like Facebook is an alternate reality. You can choose to show the real you or the you that you want people to perceive you to be.

It's like everyone is being stalked by the paparazzi


People can just look at your page and know everything that is going on in your life. the best is when they talk to you like they were there with you ("man Disney sure was fun wasn't it..man that pose you did with mickey was hilarious man)

True, with the update you can now choose who can see what on your page. But why do we have to play a virtual game of cups?


If you don't want that person seeing what's on your page then are they really a friend? and since when is it expected of you to accept a friend request from your boss? People take Facebook so seriously. It's a social networking site and lets face it, maybe I just don't want to network with you! and it's ok that I feel that way.

I will never forget when I was 11 years old and one of my good friends at the time moved away( back then in order to keep in touch with someone who moved out of state you had to communicate with a letter. I had to but stamps and envelopes because my mom would NOT let me call long distance) I was heartbroken, I thought I would never see her again. My grandmother told me "Amber, people come and go in our lives and we need to cherish the things we learn from them. And you never know when your paths might meet again." This is so true, it's ok to lose contact with people, it is not the end of the world. It opens up time for you to meet new people and gain new friendships and experiences.

It's time to be honest with ourselves and take a long hard look at our friends list. If someone is on there that we wouldn't even text hello to. Ask yourself are they really your friend? A good person once said..

Not everyone is meant to stay on the train for the duration of the trip


And that's just my thought on the matter.

Oh HAIR YES!!!!

I have been natural for about six years now and...well I take that back I have been natural ON AND OFF for about six years now. I always would get frustrated and break down at the 7 month itch and perm my hair..then I would chop it all off three months later determined to be natural! sadly the cycle would repeat itself.

I just could never find the right product for my hair and I would just say screw it! perming it is easier and natural hair is such a hassle. That was until I found Jamaican Black Castor Oil! this is a wonder hair treatment!!




its great for ALL hair types. I not only use it for a moisturizer before I go to sleep but I also use it at a hot oil treatment. everyone knows that a healthy scalp is a happy head! so that means healthy growth. My hair was no longer breaking off it was amazing.

http://www.jamaicanblackcastoroil.com/

I also have to sing the praises of WEN!! this is an amazing product line. it is also for all hair types. The leave in conditioner and the deep conditioner has really given me amazing results on my hair.




http://www.wenhaircare.com/

I am happy to say that I no longer have a TWA!! my hair is getting longer and I am able to play around with styles and I am looking forward to it growing more and more. I have finally been able to put it in the beloved PUFF!!!



and the also amazing Fro-Hawk



So if you have been thinking about going natural and you are at the dreaded 7 month itch like I have been countless times..DON'T GIVE UP!!! I have been dedicated to my natural hair journey for an entire year now and I never thought I would be where I am at. Look at youtube videos for hair tutorials and the motivation it takes to stay natural and dont let ANYONE talk you out of doing a natural style you rock it with FIRECENESS!!! and that is my thought on the matter.

Proud

My husband and I have decided that we are ready for a family. I am beyound excited to finally try to start this journey in our life, but it really makes you sit back and think about a lot of things. The number one thing on my mind is my relationship (or non existence one) that I have with my own mother.

We used to be two peas in a pod I would tell her everything, she was my confidant and I know that she was proud of me in all the accomplishments that I have made in my life great or small ( she would proudly show off my UGLY hand drawn pictures proudly and the day I graduated high school top ten of my class she glowed) My mom battled her drug habit and was successful she was sober for over 21 years...but then sadly life just bogged her down.

I could never imagine losing my mother in death I could only imagine how it would feel. I think that is when everything went down hill, she didn't have her own mother to uplift her and tell her how wonderful she was, just like she would do for my sisters and I so many times.

Well soon she began to cover up her pain not with illegal drugs but legal ones as well as alcohol and she became a person that I have never seen before. I would battle with her so called "new friends" and express to her that they can't love her or need her as much as we do. but to no avail she just sank deeper and deeper in her misery. It saddens me because for a time I would be right there with her miserable, my marriage suffered because of this and I almost lost an important person in my life.

I began weaning myself away from all the craziness, One thing my beautiful mother would always say is NEVER allow anyone to bring you down! and I thank her for that advice it was just hard to realize that they person trying to bring me down the most in my life was at one time my best friend. Her "new friends" made her believe that everyone was out to get her and that no one could understand her the way that they do. She is still hanging with her so called new crew. and they are going to be with her to her bitter end if she doesn't snap out of it and get the help I know she deserves. I just want to tell her that even though I have to say goodbye for now I want her to know that I am grateful for everything she has taught me whether it was good or bad. she has made me the women that I am and I hope that I can be half the mother she was to me, to my own child one day.

I will always remember the way you looked at me... PROUD.




I wrote a poem a while back and I just feel like now is the time to share it so here is goes.

A mothers Love

A mothers love is supposed to be unconditional
A love that would make your child feel sure.
So why does your love for me feel like a competition?

Am I the women that you wanted me to be?
Determined and loving with so many possibilities.
Yet you back stab me to try and slow my pace,
When you're supposed to be my partner to guide me in life's race.

You smile in my face as you tell me lies. And you have the nerve to wonder why I had to say goodbye.
Your words are no longer confirmation that what you say is true. I know I will be strong in my life without you.

This women I see before me is not who I'll remember.
A women who would do anything to get her next fix.
I'll remember the mother who walked me to school, loved me, taught me, made me laugh,
these were your greatest gifts.

You smile in my face as you tell me lies. And you have the nerve to wonder why I had to say goodbye.
Your words are no longer confirmation that what you say is true. I know I will be strong in my life without you.

My love for you is still unconditional but through your pain you can't see.
You have a new love now
open your eyes can't you see it's deceiving.

You say it calms you and is there for you like a "true friend"
But it's lauging behind your back because it knows it has you in it's clutches
ready to see you till your very end.

You smile in my face as you tell me lies. And you have the nerve to wonder why I had to say goodbye.
Your words are no longer confirmation that what you say is true. I know I will be strong in my life without you.

I've tried everything to make you see you're not alone in this world.
Trying to be the great daughter that you always wanted me to be.
You laugh in my face and run off with your "new crew"
And it's because of them that I must say....I have to be through with you.