The Power to Unfriend

It used to be a time when you could just phase people out. You would go to school with them or work with them and once you left your job or school you could just keep in contact with the people you really wanted to.

Then along came Facebook and EVERYONE that you have ever come into contact with wanted to be your friend.( I am surprised my mailman hasn't requested me, I have said hello to him more than once)It is almost improper not to accept someones friend request that you only spoke to at the copier when you happen to be there at the same time.

It's like Facebook is an alternate reality. You can choose to show the real you or the you that you want people to perceive you to be.

It's like everyone is being stalked by the paparazzi


People can just look at your page and know everything that is going on in your life. the best is when they talk to you like they were there with you ("man Disney sure was fun wasn't it..man that pose you did with mickey was hilarious man)

True, with the update you can now choose who can see what on your page. But why do we have to play a virtual game of cups?


If you don't want that person seeing what's on your page then are they really a friend? and since when is it expected of you to accept a friend request from your boss? People take Facebook so seriously. It's a social networking site and lets face it, maybe I just don't want to network with you! and it's ok that I feel that way.

I will never forget when I was 11 years old and one of my good friends at the time moved away( back then in order to keep in touch with someone who moved out of state you had to communicate with a letter. I had to but stamps and envelopes because my mom would NOT let me call long distance) I was heartbroken, I thought I would never see her again. My grandmother told me "Amber, people come and go in our lives and we need to cherish the things we learn from them. And you never know when your paths might meet again." This is so true, it's ok to lose contact with people, it is not the end of the world. It opens up time for you to meet new people and gain new friendships and experiences.

It's time to be honest with ourselves and take a long hard look at our friends list. If someone is on there that we wouldn't even text hello to. Ask yourself are they really your friend? A good person once said..

Not everyone is meant to stay on the train for the duration of the trip


And that's just my thought on the matter.

Oh HAIR YES!!!!

I have been natural for about six years now and...well I take that back I have been natural ON AND OFF for about six years now. I always would get frustrated and break down at the 7 month itch and perm my hair..then I would chop it all off three months later determined to be natural! sadly the cycle would repeat itself.

I just could never find the right product for my hair and I would just say screw it! perming it is easier and natural hair is such a hassle. That was until I found Jamaican Black Castor Oil! this is a wonder hair treatment!!




its great for ALL hair types. I not only use it for a moisturizer before I go to sleep but I also use it at a hot oil treatment. everyone knows that a healthy scalp is a happy head! so that means healthy growth. My hair was no longer breaking off it was amazing.

http://www.jamaicanblackcastoroil.com/

I also have to sing the praises of WEN!! this is an amazing product line. it is also for all hair types. The leave in conditioner and the deep conditioner has really given me amazing results on my hair.




http://www.wenhaircare.com/

I am happy to say that I no longer have a TWA!! my hair is getting longer and I am able to play around with styles and I am looking forward to it growing more and more. I have finally been able to put it in the beloved PUFF!!!



and the also amazing Fro-Hawk



So if you have been thinking about going natural and you are at the dreaded 7 month itch like I have been countless times..DON'T GIVE UP!!! I have been dedicated to my natural hair journey for an entire year now and I never thought I would be where I am at. Look at youtube videos for hair tutorials and the motivation it takes to stay natural and dont let ANYONE talk you out of doing a natural style you rock it with FIRECENESS!!! and that is my thought on the matter.

Proud

My husband and I have decided that we are ready for a family. I am beyound excited to finally try to start this journey in our life, but it really makes you sit back and think about a lot of things. The number one thing on my mind is my relationship (or non existence one) that I have with my own mother.

We used to be two peas in a pod I would tell her everything, she was my confidant and I know that she was proud of me in all the accomplishments that I have made in my life great or small ( she would proudly show off my UGLY hand drawn pictures proudly and the day I graduated high school top ten of my class she glowed) My mom battled her drug habit and was successful she was sober for over 21 years...but then sadly life just bogged her down.

I could never imagine losing my mother in death I could only imagine how it would feel. I think that is when everything went down hill, she didn't have her own mother to uplift her and tell her how wonderful she was, just like she would do for my sisters and I so many times.

Well soon she began to cover up her pain not with illegal drugs but legal ones as well as alcohol and she became a person that I have never seen before. I would battle with her so called "new friends" and express to her that they can't love her or need her as much as we do. but to no avail she just sank deeper and deeper in her misery. It saddens me because for a time I would be right there with her miserable, my marriage suffered because of this and I almost lost an important person in my life.

I began weaning myself away from all the craziness, One thing my beautiful mother would always say is NEVER allow anyone to bring you down! and I thank her for that advice it was just hard to realize that they person trying to bring me down the most in my life was at one time my best friend. Her "new friends" made her believe that everyone was out to get her and that no one could understand her the way that they do. She is still hanging with her so called new crew. and they are going to be with her to her bitter end if she doesn't snap out of it and get the help I know she deserves. I just want to tell her that even though I have to say goodbye for now I want her to know that I am grateful for everything she has taught me whether it was good or bad. she has made me the women that I am and I hope that I can be half the mother she was to me, to my own child one day.

I will always remember the way you looked at me... PROUD.




I wrote a poem a while back and I just feel like now is the time to share it so here is goes.

A mothers Love

A mothers love is supposed to be unconditional
A love that would make your child feel sure.
So why does your love for me feel like a competition?

Am I the women that you wanted me to be?
Determined and loving with so many possibilities.
Yet you back stab me to try and slow my pace,
When you're supposed to be my partner to guide me in life's race.

You smile in my face as you tell me lies. And you have the nerve to wonder why I had to say goodbye.
Your words are no longer confirmation that what you say is true. I know I will be strong in my life without you.

This women I see before me is not who I'll remember.
A women who would do anything to get her next fix.
I'll remember the mother who walked me to school, loved me, taught me, made me laugh,
these were your greatest gifts.

You smile in my face as you tell me lies. And you have the nerve to wonder why I had to say goodbye.
Your words are no longer confirmation that what you say is true. I know I will be strong in my life without you.

My love for you is still unconditional but through your pain you can't see.
You have a new love now
open your eyes can't you see it's deceiving.

You say it calms you and is there for you like a "true friend"
But it's lauging behind your back because it knows it has you in it's clutches
ready to see you till your very end.

You smile in my face as you tell me lies. And you have the nerve to wonder why I had to say goodbye.
Your words are no longer confirmation that what you say is true. I know I will be strong in my life without you.

I've tried everything to make you see you're not alone in this world.
Trying to be the great daughter that you always wanted me to be.
You laugh in my face and run off with your "new crew"
And it's because of them that I must say....I have to be through with you.

Electronic Swagger!

Long before middle schoolers had iPods and iPhones to texted each other the children of the 90's had to "secretly" speak to each other the old fashion way...



Till this day I have no idea why anyone covers there mouth when they are speaking close.. it draws even more attention to you..Just talk you are already an inch from my face i can hear you.

But in the early 90's we were gifted with this amazing electronic device that was amazing and I begged my mom for months to get this. Feast your eyes on the Casio my Magic Diary



This amazing tool not only was a diary (I had nosy sisters so to have a diary with my own personal password was like something out of the jetsons and I LOVED that)
It was also a address book (back in the day when you could actually memorize your friends number by heart) you could also "create" a profile pic of your friend which looked NOTHING like them but you thought it was amazing.

You also no longer needed to whisper or write a note to a friend.(as long as they also had a magic diary) you could send messages to each other



it was a prehistoric version of texting :) My friends and I would chat all day in classes. unfortunately the range on this was Horrible so you had to be in the same classroom but hey it was amazing to me at the time. as if that wasn't enough they also put a TV remote control in it!! so my 7th grader self would always hide it under my desk when we would have to watch boring movies in class and turn the TV on and off..the teacher NEVER suspected anything and would always call maintenance to try and fix it. (sorry about that)

This device also had a matchmaker program where you would put in some information about the person you liked and yourself and it would say if you were compatible. I was NOT interested in that part however on of my friends would always ask me to borrow my magic diary to put in info about her and whatever boy captured her attention. That's when I realized I had a goldmine!!! I began charging kids $2 to use it for matchmaking purposes. I had electronic swagger:)

This City girl just had to "Roll with it"

Last night I had my very first country concert experience. I have to say that I had a BLAST!! I am learning to love country music and it makes it easy to listen to when the artist looks like this.





I'm such a sucker for musicians!

My good friend actually won meet and greet passes and I was making fun of her and how she would embarrass me..don't get me wrong she was giddy to meet him but for some reason only MY emotions were caught on camera



Yes that is me the biggest city girl I know looking like a two year old who has just been told that she could have milk and cookies before bed..how embarrassing. It must have been his country accent or maybe the jeans.

The only complaint that I had was that we had a very good spot we were able to be up close and personal with Easton and his band. However there was a guy who decided that the three girls and himself would try to barge up to the front in stand in out way. I WAS NOT HAVING THAT. seeing that I was the TALLEST female in the entire place I just stood my ground and advised to them to step off. I also had a few country boys back me up so that helped :)

I have to say over all my first country concert was a success and I can't wait to go to many more. but never fear this city girl won't turn country on ya'll

So when are you going to die?.......

That is a question that all human beings know you should NEVER ask someone. It is not in good taste at all and you could really hurt or offend the person that you ask that question or even worse you could get... THE STANK FACE!!!!



So could someone please tell me why society seems to think it's appropriate to ask certain questions that is really no ones business but your own? when you are single you are get ask...SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DATE? and heaven forbid that you are actually HAPPY in your single status, people seem to think that you are just "playing strong" in front of them that is why when you say." I am not seeing anyone right now I am actually enjoying my singleness" you get this face



It's as if they have to look at you from another angle because they feel that no one in their right mind would want to be single. Well guess what there are plenty of people out there that are very happy and content with being single and not looking at singledom as a waiting bench to coupleville.

So what if you decide that you are finally ready to be apart of the dating crowd are you able to enjoy the getting to know each other phase..NOPE you get asked the second dumbest question in the world...SO WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?



WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARRIED??!! I thought the whole purpose of dating was to figure out if you are compatible? and what is the rush can I just take a moment and figure out if I want to look at this person every morning when I wake up for the rest of my life? and why must I decide that i want to marry them after spending a week with them?

I have noticed that usually the people that ask this question are the ones that are not truly happy with themselves or their situation in life.It's true what they say misery LOVES company and they want you to join the club because they jumped the gun and married the first person that showed them attention and they fell into the trap of being pressured into marrying someone because they got tired of hearing people ask them...so when are you going to get married.

Now you are finally married and you have managed to be happy because maybe you have waited for the right person and people just won't give you a break....SO WHEN ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?



have you ever thought that maybe kids don't like me and therefore I have decided to save them and just enjoy this time that I have with my spouse and really take the time to get to know them and figure out what our strengths are and then maybe we will have them when WE are ready. At this stage in your life you have to watch out for the people that remind you how long you have been together (like you are wasting THEIR time)..well you know you've been married for six years...... Why thank you for pointing out to me how long I have been married, I am sorry that I have "wasted" some years off your life because I could only assume that with the enthusiasm and interest you have about my spouse and I having children you must have a bet going...I will only procreate if that bet is worth it and we can split it 80/20 (seeing that I will be doing all the work)

I think this is the worst question of them all. If I don't personally invite you in my bedroom to see what is going on then you have NO business knowing when and if I decide to have kids. It's also rude because you don't know the circumstances of the couple. maybe they have been trying to have children and it breaks the wife's heart every time she has to see a baby because she has been told that she will not have a child in her lifetime.


I think that when we see someone happy in life weather they are single, dating, married with children, married without children, single with children etc we should leave the questions to things not so personal because lets face it...IF you are close to the person there will be no need for you to ask these questions in the first place!

You wold never ask someone when they are going to die as you are attending a funeral so why ask these offensive questions? and that's my thought on the matter.

If You Can't Say Anything Nice.....

...Don't say anything at all. I can remember hearing this all the time from my mother when I was younger and then I saw Bambi I was astonished. My mothers wise words were coming from someone younger than me..How was that possible?



It was then that I realized that good advice can come from anyone at any age and that I need to be humble enough to accept it. This saying is so true especially when someone has wronged you in someway shape or form. It's so easy to lash out at the person that you are upset with and maybe even give them "what is coming to them" but it takes a bigger person to NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL...vengeance is not necessary, when we hold our tongues our opposer will lose their temper as we keep ours.

In our day and age its so easy now to "tell someone off" and now you can do it in 140 characters or less. But with this technology comes cowards. your "friends" don't need to know what "Sally" did behind you back and what you would "do" to her when you have the chance. I miss the days when you would call someone up and ask them out to lunch to speak about your differences and if they wouldn't let you get a word in then you would leave the cash on the table and say GOOD DAY and walk out! But not now even if you try to take the highroad and invite someone to talk about your issues they can't wait till you leave to update their facebook status



St.Pete City Girl is fuming you will never believe what happened..I can't believe she had the nerve to even talk to me!!!!

Then two seconds later cowards of the world unite and show there power and agreement. how you might ask?



technology is good but I think that people need to grown up and handle things the way that the world use to handle disagreements. 1) No one needs to know your business except for the people involved 2) Try to discuss it like adults 3)Always keep your cool and 4) In the immortal words of No Doubt "Don't Speak" if you aren't getting through to them. Because at the end of the day no one looks cute like this



And that's just my thought on the matter